Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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