you guys were way drunker than both of me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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