It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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