I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
