he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Randomize
