so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
