dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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