Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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