just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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