i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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