so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
