remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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