It's like God shit irony all over that family
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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