have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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