Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
