Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
