Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
