I think I am morally bankrupt
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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