I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
