Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
