apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
