"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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