being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize