the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your penis caused this!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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