I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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