Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
