we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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