Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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