Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
