i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
