Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
