I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize