Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize