I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
