Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
