i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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