If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
