Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize