new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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