He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
