i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
