All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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