shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
