my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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