i need an iv and a liver transplant
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize