currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
