i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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