i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
