my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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