My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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