Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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