What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
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if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
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I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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