I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
