I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
