Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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