I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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