32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
