I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
