Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
