if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
