he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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