It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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