You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
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Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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